Sex Bucket List: 100 Things to Try Together (Plus a Kinky Bucket List)

A sex bucket list is a shared wish list for your sex life: the things you’ve always wanted to try, the ones you’ve only daydreamed about, and a few you didn’t know you wanted until you read them. Here are 100 ideas to start yours, from slow and romantic to properly kinky, with a separate 25-item kinky bucket list for couples who want to explore further.

How to use this list

• Write your own first. Each of you reads the list alone and marks every item yes, maybe or no. Don’t peek.
• Compare. Anything you both marked yes goes on your shared list. A yes and a maybe is worth a conversation. A no is a no, with no need to explain.
• Skip the awkward bit. Our yes/no/maybe list is the easiest way to compare: you each fill it in privately and it only shows where you overlap.
• No pressure, no deadline. This isn’t a to-do list. Tick things off when you’re both in the mood.

Before anything kinky, agree your limits and a safeword, and keep everything private: nothing anywhere the public could see or hear.

Sweet and romantic

1. Spend a whole evening making out, with no sex allowed until midnight.
2. Have sex with eye contact the entire time.
3. Undress each other slowly, one item at a time, kissing each new bit of skin.
4. Run a bath for two with candles and music, and take your time in it.
5. Give each other a full-body naked massage with warm oil.
6. Make a playlist just for sex and save it for special nights.
7. Recreate your first time together, or the night you wish it had been.
8. Write your partner a love letter about what they do to you, then read it out loud in bed.
9. Spend a whole weekend in bed, leaving only for food and showers.
10. Set an alarm half an hour early for slow, unhurried morning sex.
11. Read an erotic story aloud to each other, in bed.
12. Dance naked together in the living room to a slow song.
13. Put both phones in another room and spend the evening only on each other.
14. Tell each other, in bed, the moment you first wanted them.
15. Take turns spending 20 minutes doing nothing but pleasing the other, no reciprocation allowed.

Adventurous but private

16. Have sex in every room of your home (lock the doors and close the curtains).
17. Book a hotel room just for sex, with room service and the “do not disturb” sign.
18. Rent a private villa or cabin with no neighbors for miles and spend the weekend naked indoors.
19. Have sex on the kitchen counter.
20. Have sex in the shower.
21. Go to bed in front of a log fire, or the nearest thing you’ve got.
22. Have a quickie before friends arrive for dinner.
23. Arrive separately at a hotel bar, flirt like strangers, then go up to your room together.
24. Play strip poker, with a forfeit for every hand you lose.
25. Spend a whole evening naked around the house.
26. Have sex in complete darkness, by touch alone.
27. Have sex in front of a full-length mirror, and watch.
28. Film yourselves privately, then watch it together (and agree who keeps it, or delete it together).
29. Tell each other, in bed, your wildest fantasy about a risky place, like a car or a plane, and what you imagine happening.
30. Spend a whole day sexting each other, building up to the evening. Need help with the words? Try our sexting examples.

Positions and techniques

31. Try a new position from a book or a card game.
32. Have your partner ride you slowly, then fast, then slowly again.
33. Try 69.
34. Have sex at the edge of the bed, one of you standing, one lying back.
35. Try sex standing up, against a wall.
36. Have sex sitting on a chair, face to face.
37. Have lazy spooning sex on a Sunday morning.
38. Go down on your partner for as long as they like, with no rush to move on.
39. Masturbate together, side by side, and watch each other.
40. Show your partner how you touch yourself, by guiding their hand with yours.
41. Try a whole session of slow sex: half speed, double the time.
42. Edge each other, getting close and backing off, before you finally let go. (See edging.)
43. Try tantric-style breathing together, matching your breath during sex.
44. Explore anal play, slowly and with lots of lube. Our anal training guide explains how to start.
45. Have sex where one of you isn’t allowed to come until the other has, twice.

Toys and gear

46. Go toy shopping together, in a shop or online, and each pick one for the other.
47. Use a vibrator together during sex.
48. Try a wand vibrator.
49. Try a couples’ vibrator designed to be worn during sex.
50. Hand your partner the remote of an app-controlled toy for an evening in at home.
51. Try a cock ring.
52. Try a butt plug during sex.
53. Try a strap-on. Our strap-on harness picks cover what to buy first.
54. Buy a sex wedge or pillow and use it to try new angles.
55. Light a massage candle and use the warm oil on each other.
56. Buy lingerie or underwear for your partner, and have them wear it for you.
57. Play with sex dice and do whatever they say.
58. Use a feather or soft brush to tease every inch of each other.
59. Try a glass or metal toy, warmed or cooled first.
60. Buy a beginner bondage kit and try everything in it, one night at a time.

The kinky bucket list

Your kinky bucket list: 25 kinky firsts for couples, from mild to wild. Agree limits and a safeword before each one, and try one new thing at a time. The full list of kinks has more if these get you thinking.

61. Blindfold your partner and tease them until they beg. (Sensory deprivation)
62. Tie your partner to the bed and take your time. (How to tie someone up)
63. Give or get a proper over-the-knee spanking. (Spanking)
64. Spend a night where one of you needs permission to come. (Orgasm denial)
65. Talk dirty all the way through, out loud. (Dirty talk)
66. Praise your partner, in detail, while you touch them. (Praise kink)
67. Run an ice cube down your partner’s body, then warm the spot with your mouth. (Temperature play)
68. Try wax play with a low-temperature candle made for skin. (Wax play)
69. Try nipple clamps, starting with adjustable ones. (Nipple clamps)
70. Try a flogger or a paddle. (Flogger, impact play)
71. Hold your partner’s ankles apart with a spreader bar. (Spreader bar)
72. Learn a simple rope tie together. (What is shibari?)
73. Act out a roleplay as two adults, like strangers, a boss and an employee, or a teacher and student. (Roleplay ideas)
74. Dress up in a uniform or costume for your partner. (Uniform fetish)
75. Spend an evening where one of you is completely in charge. (D/s relationship)
76. Put a collar on your partner for a night. (Collaring)
77. Try pegging. (Pegging)
78. Try face-sitting. (Face-sitting)
79. Worship your partner’s body, head to toe, slowly. (Body worship)
80. Chase, wrestle and pin each other. (Primal play)
81. Try a pet play scene, with one of you as the pet. (Pet play)
82. Play a game where your partner earns their orgasm. (BDSM games)
83. Bite and scratch, in places you’ve agreed on. (Biting kink)
84. Try a week of chastity, with your partner holding the key.
85. Plan a full scene together, from negotiation to aftercare. Our scene planner walks you through it.

Big adventures

The once-in-a-while ones, worth planning properly.

86. Visit a sex club or swingers’ club together, just to look the first time. Our guide to swinging for beginners covers what to expect.
87. Go on a sex-positive or tantra retreat for couples.
88. Have a threesome, after a long, honest talk about rules and limits. Start with our guide on how to have a threesome.
89. Go to a munch, a casual social meetup for kinky people, to meet others.
90. Take a rope bondage class together.
91. Go to a fetish ball or kink-friendly party, dressed up.
92. Rent a private dungeon or a kink-friendly hotel suite for a night.
93. Take a sex or pleasure workshop together.
94. Book a boudoir photoshoot, and keep the photos just for the two of you.
95. Spend a whole weekend away doing nothing but each other.
96. Watch someone else, or be watched, at a club where everyone has agreed to it. (Voyeurism and exhibitionism)
97. Explore a swap or open night with another couple, if you’re both curious. (Swinger lifestyle)
98. Write your own erotic story about the two of you and act it out.
99. Spend 30 days trying something new together. Our 30 day sex challenge gives you one idea a day.
100. Write a brand-new bucket list together once this one’s done.

Check in as you go

After each new thing, take five minutes to talk: what you loved, what you’d change, and whether it stays on the list. Tick it off, move it to “again, please”, or cross it out. Look after each other afterward, especially after the kinky ones, with a cuddle, water and a chat.

Want more ideas? Our 30 kinky sex ideas and dares for couples are full of them, and the list of kinks covers everything else. To find out where you overlap without the awkwardness, start with the yes/no/maybe list. Want to give your partner a few as a gift? Print our free sex coupons, or tick off one small idea a day in December with our kinky advent calendar. For a seasonal night in, try our kinky Halloween ideas.