Pegging: What It Is and How to Try It Comfortably

Pegging usually means a woman wearing a strap-on and using it to penetrate her male partner anally. The word is now also used more loosely, for anyone using a strap-on on a partner with a prostate. It’s one of the most searched sex terms around, and it’s far more common than people tend to assume.

Why people enjoy it

For the person receiving:

• The prostate. It sits a couple of inches inside, toward the front of the body, and for many people it’s very sensitive. Stimulating it can feel intense and different from anything else.
• Letting go. Being the one who receives, after years of being expected to lead, can be a huge relief and a real turn-on.
• Trust. It’s a vulnerable thing to try, and doing it with someone you trust can feel very close.

For the person wearing the strap-on, the appeal is often the power and the role reversal: being the one in charge, watching their partner’s reactions, and getting to experience a new kind of sex. Some couples bring a full dom and sub dynamic into it, often as part of femdom; others keep it tender and playful.

Enjoying it, giving or receiving, doesn’t change anyone’s sexual orientation.

What you’ll need

• A harness that fits snugly and comfortably. It matters more than the toy. See our guide to choosing a strap-on harness.
• A small, smooth dildo with a flared base. Start slimmer than you think. You can always size up later.
• Lube, and lots of it. Water-based lube works with every toy. Don’t use silicone lube on silicone toys, as it can damage them.
• Condoms and towels, for easy cleanup, and gloves if you like them for fingers.

Taking it slowly

1. Talk first. Agree what you’re trying, what’s off the table, and a safeword or simple “stop”.
2. Relax. A warm shower, plenty of kissing and touching, and no rush. Tension makes everything harder.
3. Start smaller than the strap-on. A well-lubed finger or a small toy, with the receiving partner in control of the pace, helps the body relax. Our anal training guide walks through it step by step.
4. Let the receiver lead at first. Some couples start with the receiver on top, or backing onto the toy, so they control depth and speed.
5. Go slowly and keep checking in. Pause often. A feeling of fullness is normal; sharp pain isn’t.

Hygiene and health

• Go to the toilet beforehand and shower. That’s usually all that’s needed. Some people rinse beforehand, but it isn’t necessary and shouldn’t be overdone.
• Never go from anal to vaginal without changing the condom or washing the toy, to avoid infections.
• Shared toys can pass on infections. Use a fresh condom for each person, or one toy each.
• Wash toys after use following the maker’s instructions.

Stop if…

• There’s sharp pain, rather than pressure or fullness.
• There’s bleeding. A tiny spot may just be from going too fast, but stop for the day, and talk to a doctor if it carries on or there’s a lot.
• Either of you wants to stop, for any reason. Try again another day, or not at all.

Afterwards

Pegging can bring up a lot emotionally, especially the first time, so make room for aftercare: a cuddle, a drink of water, and a chat about what you liked and what you’d change.

Curious but not sure your partner is? Fill in our yes/no/maybe list separately: it only shows the things you both said yes or maybe to. For more ideas in the same spirit, browse the list of kinks.