What is a yes/no/maybe list?

A checklist of sexual and kink activities where each partner marks every item as yes (want to try or already enjoy), maybe (curious, with conditions), or no (not interested). Comparing lists is a low-pressure way to find shared interests and surface limits before anything happens.

Can my partner see my No answers?

Not on the comparison screen. When you compare, it only shows items you both marked yes or maybe; anything either of you marked No or skipped is left out, without saying who said no. The share link itself does contain your answers in coded form, so only send it to the person you mean to compare with.

Where are my answers stored?

Only in your own browser, on this device. Nothing is sent to us or stored on a server. Clearing your browser data, or using a private window, removes them, so print or save a PDF if you want to keep a copy.

Does a yes on the list mean consent?

No. A yes means 'I'm interested in talking about this.' Consent is specific to a particular time, partner, and set of details, and it can be withdrawn at any point, including mid-scene. Use the list to start the conversation, then negotiate the specifics and agree on a safeword.

How often should we redo the list?

Whenever something changes, and at least every few months in an ongoing relationship. Maybes often turn into yeses (or nos) once you've tried something nearby, and it's normal for answers to shift over time.

Yes / No / Maybe List: A Free Interactive Kink Checklist

Guide·2 min read·Published October 2026

A yes/no/maybe list is a checklist of activities that each partner fills in on their own, marking every item yes, maybe, or no. Comparing answers afterward turns a conversation that can feel awkward (“so… what are you into?”) into something concrete, and it surfaces limits before a scene instead of during one.

This one is interactive. Your answers save in your browser as you go, nothing is sent to us, and you can print the list or share a link with a partner.

How to use it

Fill it in on your own, honestly, without your partner looking over your shoulder. Skip anything you’re unsure about; you can come back to it.
Use Maybe generously. Maybe means “curious, but it depends”: on the details, on the mood, on going slowly. It’s the most useful answer on the list.
Share the link with your partner. When they open it, they fill in their own answers and press Compare.
Talk through the overlaps. The comparison only shows items you both marked yes or maybe. Anything either of you marked No stays private, so nobody has to explain a no.

0 of 64 answered · saved on this device only

Sensation

Blindfolds — ____

Light touch, feathers, or fabric — ____

Scratching — ____

Biting — ____

Hair pulling — ____

Tickling — ____

Ice or cold play — ____

Wax play — ____

Nipple clamps — ____

Impact

Spanking with a hand — ____

Paddles — ____

Floggers — ____

Crops or canes — ____

Marks or bruises that last a few days — ____

Face slapping — ____

Higher risk; negotiate specifically.

Bondage & restraint

Holding wrists down by hand — ____

Soft cuffs or restraints — ____

Rope bondage — ____

Being tied to the bed — ____

Gags — ____

Agree a non-verbal safe signal first.

Collar and leash — ____

Full sensory deprivation (hood, earplugs) — ____

Mummification — ____

Breath play — ____

Highest-risk item on this list. Read before answering.

Power & control

Being told what to do — ____

Telling a partner what to do — ____

Rules and protocols — ____

Titles (Sir, Ma’am, Miss, etc.) — ____

Kneeling or positions — ____

Service (doing tasks for a partner) — ____

Bratting and brat taming — ____

Edging — ____

Orgasm denial — ____

Chastity — ____

Switching roles — ____

Words

Dirty talk — ____

Praise ("good girl", "good boy") — ____

Pet names — ____

Name-calling or verbal degradation — ____

Begging — ____

Roleplay

Costumes or uniforms — ____

Strangers meeting for the first time — ____

Pet play — ____

Primal play (chasing, wrestling) — ____

Caregiver / little dynamics (adults only) — ____

Medical roleplay — ____

Consensual non-consent scenes — ____

Needs detailed negotiation in advance.

Bodies, toys & outfits

Vibrators and wands — ____

Strap-ons — ____

Anal play (giving) — ____

Anal play (receiving) — ____

Face-sitting — ____

Foot play — ____

Lingerie — ____

Leather or latex — ____

Watching, sharing & others

Masturbating while a partner watches — ____

Watching a partner masturbate — ____

Taking photos or video (kept private) — ____

Discreet teasing in public (nothing others can see) — ____

Threesomes — ____

Swinging or partner swapping — ____

Cuckolding — ____

Going to a munch together — ____

Going to a play party or dungeon — ____

After you compare

Treat a shared yes as an invitation to talk, not a plan. For anything you want to try, agree on the specifics: how intense, what’s off the table, and what the safeword is. Then plan aftercare, even for something that sounds light.

“One yes, one maybe” items are often the most interesting part of the list. Ask what would turn the maybe into a yes, whether that’s a slower start, a softer version, or simply more information. Items marked as higher risk, like breath play and face slapping, deserve their own conversation and some reading first.

If you’re putting a longer-term dynamic together, the BDSM contract template is a natural next step: it turns what you’ve learned here into written limits, rules, and a review date. And if you’re not sure where you fit yet, the 2-minute quiz can help narrow it down.

2-minute quiz

What kind of kinkster are you?

→

Frequently asked questions

What is a yes/no/maybe list?: A checklist of sexual and kink activities where each partner marks every item as yes (want to try or already enjoy), maybe (curious, with conditions), or no (not interested). Comparing lists is a low-pressure way to find shared interests and surface limits before anything happens.
Can my partner see my No answers?: Not on the comparison screen. When you compare, it only shows items you both marked yes or maybe; anything either of you marked No or skipped is left out, without saying who said no. The share link itself does contain your answers in coded form, so only send it to the person you mean to compare with.
Where are my answers stored?: Only in your own browser, on this device. Nothing is sent to us or stored on a server. Clearing your browser data, or using a private window, removes them, so print or save a PDF if you want to keep a copy.
Does a yes on the list mean consent?: No. A yes means 'I'm interested in talking about this.' Consent is specific to a particular time, partner, and set of details, and it can be withdrawn at any point, including mid-scene. Use the list to start the conversation, then negotiate the specifics and agree on a safeword.
How often should we redo the list?: Whenever something changes, and at least every few months in an ongoing relationship. Maybes often turn into yeses (or nos) once you've tried something nearby, and it's normal for answers to shift over time.

Yes / No / Maybe List: A Free Interactive Kink Checklist

How to use it

After you compare

Frequently asked questions

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