BDSM Games for Couples: 22 Bondage and Kinky Games to Play Tonight

BDSM doesn’t have to start with a big, serious scene. A game gives you rules, a little competition and an easy way out, so it’s one of the best ways to try restraint, power exchange or tease and denial for the first time. It’s also a brilliant way to keep things playful if you’ve been at it for years.

These 22 BDSM and bondage games are for real life: two consenting adults, in private, with little or no gear. (If you were looking for something on a screen, our free online games include kink bingo and a kinky truth or dare.)

Before you play

• Agree the limits. What’s in, what’s out, how intense, and whether marks are OK. Our yes/no/maybe list makes it easy.
• Choose a safeword and a hand signal in case speaking gets hard. A safeword ends any game instantly.
• Bondage basics: nothing around the neck, two fingers’ room under any tie or cuff, safety scissors within reach, and never leave a tied partner alone.
• Start gentle. It’s easy to turn a game up and awkward to turn it down.

Bondage games

1. The ribbon game

Tie your partner’s wrists together with a ribbon in a loose bow. They can’t break it or let it come undone while you tease them for five minutes. If it slips, they owe a forfeit. It’s restraint by willpower, which is half the fun.

2. Hands above your head

No ties at all: your partner keeps their hands above their head, holding the headboard or a pillow, while you do whatever you like within your limits. Every time they let go, you stop for 30 seconds.

3. Restraint roulette

Number each wrist and ankle 1 to 4 and roll a die. Whatever comes up gets cuffed to the bed for the next round (5 or 6 means one gets released). See our guide to under-bed restraints for an easy setup.

4. Tied-up tease timer

Cuff your partner’s wrists loosely in front of them and set a timer for five minutes. You tease; they’re not allowed to ask for more. If they beg, the timer resets. Swap next time.

5. Spread and still

With a spreader bar or simply an agreed position, your partner must stay open and still while you kiss your way across their body. Every flinch earns a spank, a pause, or a tickle, as agreed.

6. Earn your release

Your partner starts with their wrists cuffed. Each time they complete a task you set (answer a question honestly, describe a fantasy, kiss you exactly as instructed), one cuff comes off. Keep it short and keep the scissors close.

Power exchange games

7. The orders deck

Each of you writes ten commands on slips of paper (“kneel and kiss my hand”, “undress me slowly”, “tell me what you want, in detail”). Shuffle them. The dominant draws one each round, and the submissive obeys, or uses the safeword.

8. Yes, please

For three minutes, the submissive can only answer “yes, please” or the safeword. Anything else earns a forfeit. It’s surprisingly intense.

9. Rules roulette

Write six small rules for the evening (“ask before you touch”, “call me Sir”, “eyes down when I’m talking”) and roll a die to pick one. Break it, and it’s a spank. Roll again every half hour.

10. Brat points

For the brat and their tamer: the brat earns a point for every rule they break, and the tamer earns a point for every time they catch them. At the end, the loser pays up with a forfeit the winner chooses.

11. Kneel and count

The submissive kneels and counts slowly to 100 while the dominant does whatever they please. Losing count means starting again.

12. Servant hour

For one hour, the submissive serves: drinks, massages, running a bath, whatever’s asked, all within your limits. See our list of sub tasks for ideas, and sub names for what to call each other.

Spanking and sensation games

13. Spanking dice

Roll two dice: the first decides how many spanks, the second decides how they land (1–2 soft, 3–4 medium, 5–6 the receiver’s choice). Aim for the fleshy lower buttocks only. Our guide to spanking positions covers how to set up.

14. Guess the implement

Blindfold your partner and use different things on their skin: a hand, a feather, a soft flogger, a cold spoon, a fingernail. A right guess earns a kiss; a wrong one earns another go. See sensory deprivation for blindfold safety.

15. Hot and cold

Alternate an ice cube and warm breath (or a warm mug held near the skin) across your partner’s body. They have to say “hot” or “cold” before they feel it. Our guide to temperature play has safe ways to go further.

16. Count and thank

For an agreed number of spanks, the person being spanked counts each one out loud and says “thank you”. Losing count or forgetting to say thanks adds one more. Classic, and very much about the power.

Tease and denial games

17. The edging ladder

Bring your partner to the edge and stop, ten times. Each round, they get one second less of a break. They can’t come until the tenth, and only if they ask nicely. See edging, and our edging games for 18 more.

18. Red light, green light

The dominant says “green” to start touching, “red” to stop immediately. The submissive has to obey both, however close they are. A favorite in orgasm denial play.

19. Permission slip

All evening, the submissive has to ask permission, out loud and politely, before they come. The answer might be yes, no, or “ask me again in a minute.”

Femdom games

Games where she’s in charge. For the bigger picture, see our femdom guide.

20. Worship timer

Set a timer for ten minutes. Her partner worships whichever part of her body she chooses, exactly as she directs, and doesn’t stop until the timer does.

21. The key hunt

For couples into chastity: she hides the key somewhere in the room and gives warmer/colder clues, or none at all. Only use devices you can remove quickly in an emergency, and keep a spare key.

22. Her rules, her pace

She sets the rules for the night and controls every touch: when, where, how fast. Her partner can only ask, never take. Simple, and very effective.

More kinky games to play

• Kink bingo: our free kink bingo card turns trying new things into a game.
• Kinky truth or dare: the Dom & Sub pack in our online truth or dare gives the dominant and the submissive their own side of every card, and the main deck’s kinky level has dozens of power and restraint cards.
• Sex dice: our sex dice game has a kinky set of dice.
• A deck of cards: our sex card game has a kinky “face cards rule” version.
• Random kink generator: let our kink generator pick one to talk about.
• More ideas: bondage ideas, BDSM ideas and sex games for couples.

Stop if…

• There’s numbness, tingling, cold or color change in the hands or feet. Release the restraint first, talk second.
• Spanks or implements land on the lower back, spine, tailbone or joints.
• Your partner goes quiet, seems far away, or uses the safeword or signal.
• Either of you stops enjoying the game. It’s meant to be fun.

Afterwards

Even playful games can be intense. Untie, cuddle, have some water, and talk about your favorite moments. That’s aftercare, and it’s worth doing every time.