Kinky ThinkingWould you rather gets a lot more interesting when the options are dirty. These 100 questions are for couples who want to find out what the other one secretly wants: positions, places, toys, fantasies and kink. Each answer is a clue. Ask “why?” every time, and keep mental notes.
Picking an answer is just part of the game, not a promise to do anything. For a gentler start, try our would you rather questions for couples.
How to play
- Pick one, then say why. No “neither”, no “both”.
- Guess first. Predict your partner’s answer before they say it. A point for every right guess.
- Make it foreplay. Agree that one answer from the game happens tonight, if you both still want it.
- Play online. Our free would you rather game lets you each answer privately and compare.
Dirty questions
About sex: when, where and how.
- Would you rather have sex every day for a week or have one incredible all-night session?
- Would you rather give oral or receive it?
- Would you rather be on top or underneath?
- Would you rather have sex in the shower or on the kitchen counter?
- Would you rather start the morning with oral or end the night with it?
- Would you rather have a quickie before work or a slow session after?
- Would you rather I was completely silent or loud enough to worry the neighbors?
- Would you rather be undressed with my hands or my teeth?
- Would you rather finish first or make me finish first?
- Would you rather be pushed up against the wall or thrown onto the bed?
- Would you rather try a new position every night for a week or perfect your favorite?
- Would you rather watch me touch myself or have me watch you?
- Would you rather have sex in front of a mirror or with your eyes closed?
- Would you rather a long, slow massage that ends in sex, or sex that ends in a long, slow massage?
- Would you rather be teased until you beg or taken without warning?
- Would you rather I went down on you until you came, or stopped just before?
- Would you rather use only hands for a whole night or only mouths?
- Would you rather I wore lingerie or a harness?
- Would you rather have one orgasm that lasts a minute or five quick ones?
- Would you rather sext all day and wait, or skip the texts and get straight to it?
- Would you rather ride me or bend over for me?
- Would you rather I whispered exactly what I’m going to do, or just did it?
- Would you rather try sex in a new room every night or in bed every night?
- Would you rather be kissed everywhere except where you want it, or only where you want it?
- Would you rather have sex with your eyes locked on mine or with your face in the pillow?
- Would you rather be edged for an hour or finish three times in a row?
- Would you rather watch something steamy together first, or read something steamy out loud?
- Would you rather have a shower that turns into sex or sex that turns into a shower?
- Would you rather be the one who undresses or the one who watches?
- Would you rather your partner talk dirty or moan your name?
- Would you rather try a sex swing or a sex chair?
- Would you rather have sex in the morning sunlight or in total darkness?
- Would you rather spend a weekend naked at home or a weekend in a fancy hotel?
- Would you rather try something new tonight or do your favorite thing perfectly?
- Would you rather be the one to ask for it or the one who’s asked?
Kinky questions
For couples who are curious about kink, or already into it.
- Would you rather be tied up or do the tying?
- Would you rather be spanked or do the spanking?
- Would you rather wear a blindfold or a gag?
- Would you rather be told what to do all night or give the orders all night?
- Would you rather be called a good girl or good boy, or something filthy?
- Would you rather try a flogger or a paddle?
- Would you rather be edged or denied completely?
- Would you rather wear a collar or hold the leash?
- Would you rather beg or be begged?
- Would you rather try wax play or ice play?
- Would you rather have your hands tied in front or behind your back?
- Would you rather be teased with a feather or a riding crop?
- Would you rather follow rules for a whole day or one strict scene?
- Would you rather be praised or degraded, gently?
- Would you rather be pinned down or chased first?
- Would you rather need permission to finish or decide when I finish?
- Would you rather try a chastity cage or be the keyholder?
- Would you rather be blindfolded and touched or blindfolded and teased with words?
- Would you rather leave marks or have marks left on you?
- Would you rather try handcuffs or rope?
- Would you rather be a brat or tame a brat?
- Would you rather be served or serve?
- Would you rather be worshipped or used (in the ways you’ve agreed)?
- Would you rather have a safeword you never need or a scene that tests it?
- Would you rather try pet play or roleplay?
- Would you rather be ordered to stay still or ordered to move?
- Would you rather earn a reward or receive a punishment?
- Would you rather try a spreader bar or under-bed restraints?
- Would you rather your partner be strict or playful when they’re in charge?
- Would you rather plan a scene down to the last detail or let your partner surprise you (within your limits)?
- Would you rather be spanked over the knee or bent over the bed?
- Would you rather try a vibrator during a scene or no toys at all?
- Would you rather have a scene last ten intense minutes or two slow hours?
- Would you rather be dominant for a night or submissive for a weekend?
- Would you rather your aftercare be cuddles and quiet, or snacks and laughter?
Fantasy questions
Fantasies are for talking about. Acting them out is a separate conversation.
- Would you rather roleplay strangers at a bar or a massage that goes further?
- Would you rather have a threesome or be watched by someone you trust?
- Would you rather fantasize about sex on a moonlit balcony or in the back of a limo?
- Would you rather act out a fantasy of yours or one of mine?
- Would you rather be seduced by me pretending to be a stranger, or seduce me?
- Would you rather film something just for us or write each other an erotic story?
- Would you rather roleplay a boss and an employee or a teacher and a student (both adults)?
- Would you rather try a sex club together or a sex shop date?
- Would you rather have an hour where I do anything you ask, or an hour where you do anything I ask?
- Would you rather try free use for a weekend or plan one perfect scene?
- Would you rather fulfil my wildest fantasy or tell me yours?
- Would you rather fantasize about being caught in the act, or about catching someone?
- Would you rather role-play a first date or a one-night stand?
- Would you rather be kidnapped for a surprise weekend away or plan it together?
- Would you rather have sex in every room of the house or in every hotel we stay in?
- Would you rather your partner wear a uniform or a costume of your choice?
- Would you rather be tied to the bed for a whole evening or tie me there?
- Would you rather watch me with a toy or use a toy on me?
- Would you rather fantasize about a quickie in a dressing room or joining the mile-high club?
- Would you rather try something from the kinkiest side of our yes/no/maybe list, or the mildest?
- Would you rather recreate the hottest scene from a film or the hottest night we’ve had?
- Would you rather your partner surprise you with lingerie or a toy?
- Would you rather hear my dirtiest fantasy or tell me yours first?
- Would you rather spend a night being pampered or a night being dominated?
- Would you rather have a hotel weekend with no clothes or a cabin weekend with no phones?
- Would you rather play strip poker or strip truth or dare?
- Would you rather I seduce you in public with words, and finish in private, or keep it all at home?
- Would you rather try a sex position from a book or invent our own?
- Would you rather have a fantasy stay a fantasy, or make it real?
- Would you rather end this game now and go to bed, or ask ten more questions?
Before you try anything
Would you rather is great for discovering shared interests. Before acting on one, especially anything kinky, talk it through calmly: what you’d each like, what’s off the table, and a safeword. Our yes/no/maybe list and scene planner make that conversation easy.
For more, try spicy truth or dare questions, dirty never have I ever questions, or our list of kinks if an answer made you curious.
Try it together
Frequently asked questions
What are some dirty would you rather questions?
Questions that make your partner choose between two sexy options: would you rather be tied up or blindfolded, have sex in the shower or on the kitchen counter, be teased for an hour or have it right now? The answers tell you a lot about what they'd like to try.
How do you play dirty would you rather?
Take turns asking. The other person has to pick one and explain why. You can make it a game by guessing each other's answers, or make it foreplay by agreeing that the winning answer of each round happens later.
Is it a good way to talk about kinks?
Yes, it's one of the easiest. Choosing between two options feels lighter than answering an open question, and the follow-up "why?" opens up real conversations. If something comes up you'd both like to try, talk through limits and a safeword first.
Does picking an answer mean I have to do it?
No. Would you rather is a game about preferences, not a contract. Choosing "tied up" over "blindfolded" doesn't mean you've agreed to either. Anything you'd actually like to try gets its own calm conversation first.
Is there an online version?
Yes. Our free online would you rather game has kinky questions you each answer privately, then compare. It runs in your browser and nothing you choose is sent to us.