Foreplay Games: 20 Ways to Build the Tension Tonight

The best foreplay games turn waiting into the main event. Instead of rushing to the finish, you give yourselves rules that slow everything down: no hands, only whispers, nothing below the waist until the timer goes off. By the time you’re allowed more, you’ll both be desperate for it.

These 20 games are bold, playful, and for two consenting adults in private. Agree your limits and a safeword before you start, and skip any game or rule freely.

Why you shouldn’t skip foreplay

Foreplay isn’t the warm-up act. Arousal makes everything more comfortable: it brings natural lubrication and erections, relaxes muscles, and makes skin far more sensitive, so whatever comes next feels better and is less likely to be sore. Rushing past it is one of the most common reasons sex feels underwhelming. Games make slowing down feel fun rather than like a chore. Add lube anyway: there’s no such thing as too much.

Slow-burn games

Games that start long before the bedroom.

1. The three-message build-up

Send your partner three private messages through the day. Morning: a hint (“I’ve been thinking about tonight”). Afternoon: a detail (“It starts with you on your back”). Evening: an instruction (“Be naked when I get home”). By the time you’re together, the foreplay’s been going on for hours. Our guide to sexting has plenty more to borrow.

2. Teenage rules

Fifteen minutes of making out on the sofa like you’re sixteen and someone might walk in. Clothes stay on, hands can wander over them but not under. Whoever breaks the rule first loses and owes the other a favor of their choosing. It’s ridiculous how hot this gets.

3. The slow strip clock

Set a timer to go off every five minutes. Each time it rings, your partner chooses one item of your clothing to come off, and you do the same to them. No touching under clothes until they’re gone. The last item off decides who’s in charge of what happens next.

4. The kiss trail

Start with a kiss on your partner’s ankle or wrist. Every kiss after that has to land no more than an inch from the last one, and they’re not allowed to hurry you along. Take the long way round. They’ll know exactly where you’re heading, and that’s the point.

5. Shower first

Shower together and wash each other, slowly, everywhere. The only rule: nothing more until you’re both dry. Use the towel as part of the game, and let the wait do its work.

Touch and sensation games

Games that make you pay attention to every touch.

6. Mirror me

One of you leads, the other follows. Whatever the leader does to the follower, the follower has to do back, exactly: same place, same pressure, same speed. The follower can’t start anything new. Swap after five minutes. It’s a sneaky way to show your partner how you like to be touched.

7. The hotspot map

Your partner lies back with their eyes closed. Touch, kiss or lick somewhere, and they rate it from one to ten. Work your way around their body and find their top three. Then swap. You’ll both learn something, and the ratings get higher as the game goes on.

8. One fingertip

For the first minute, you can only use one fingertip. Every minute after, add another finger, then the whole hand, then both hands, then your mouth. The slow build makes the moment you’re finally allowed to use your mouth feel huge.

9. No-hands massage

Oil your partner’s back, then massage them using anything but your hands: your forearms, your chest, your whole body sliding over theirs. It’s clumsy, slippery, and very quickly stops being about the massage.

10. The toy tour

Take a vibrator on a slow tour of your partner’s body: neck, nipples, inner thighs, the backs of the knees, everywhere except where they want it most. They’re not allowed to move it. Set a timer for five minutes before it gets to its final stop.

Talking and teasing games

Games for using your voice. If dirty talk feels awkward, these are the gentlest way in; our guide to what to say during sex has more lines to try.

11. Tell me, then show me

Describe exactly what you’re going to do to your partner, slowly and in detail. Then wait a full 60 seconds, eyes on them, before you do it. The waiting between the words and the touch is where the tension builds.

12. The foreplay menu

Write a menu with starters (kissing, a massage, a slow strip), mains (going down on your partner, a toy, riding) and desserts (anything you like). Your partner orders one course from each, and you serve them in order. Then it’s your turn to order.

13. Whisper only

For ten minutes, you can only whisper, right into each other’s ears. Every whisper has to be either a compliment or something you want. No talking at normal volume, and no going further until the ten minutes are up.

14. Four words only

The person being touched can only say four words: “more”, “slower”, “there” and “please”. Nothing else. It sounds simple, but it forces them to guide you, and “please” said enough times becomes a game of its own.

15. Say it to get it

Every touch has to be asked for in a full sentence: not “there”, but “kiss the inside of my thigh”. If your partner can’t say it, they don’t get it. Shy partners usually find their words pretty fast. Our praise kink phrases are useful if you like rewarding a good answer.

Games with a timer or dice

Let chance and the clock decide when you’re allowed more.

16. Two-minute zones

Set a timer for two minutes per zone and work down the body: lips, neck, chest, stomach, inner thighs. You can’t skip ahead, and you can’t go back. When the last timer goes off, the obvious place is finally on the menu.

17. Last one to crack

Tease each other at the same time, with one rule: nobody goes further. Whoever cracks first, by grabbing, begging or going for more, loses. The winner decides what the loser does for the rest of the night.

18. Speed dice

Roll a die before each round. It sets the pace for the next two minutes, from 1 (painfully slow) to 6 (as fast as you like). Roll a 1 just as things heat up and you’ll understand why this one’s a favorite.

19. Roll for permission

Every two minutes, roll a die. Nobody moves past foreplay until someone rolls a six. Unlucky rolls mean more teasing. To make it harder, you need two sixes in a row. Our online sex dice can pick the action while you wait.

20. Swap on the buzzer

Each of you secretly sets a random timer on your phone, somewhere between three and ten minutes. When one goes off, the giver and receiver swap instantly, mid-touch. Nobody knows when it’s coming, which keeps you both on edge. For more on staying right at the edge, see our edging games.

More games when you’re ready

• More for couples: our sex games for couples has 25 more, from truth or dare to massage roulette.
• With a deck of cards: our sex card game and card games for couples.
• Something kinkier: BDSM games and the list of kinks for fresh ideas.

Check in and wind down

Even playful foreplay games can get intense. A quick “still good?” keeps a tease feeling hot, and either of you can stop any game, at any point. Afterward, cuddle, have some water and talk about which games you’d play again. That’s aftercare, and it’s a lovely habit even after a light night. Not sure where each other’s limits are? Fill in our yes/no/maybe list separately and compare.