What to Say During Sex: 100 Things to Say (Even If You're Shy)

If you’ve ever gone quiet in bed because you didn’t know what to say, you’re far from alone. The good news: you don’t need a script, a sexy voice or a list of filthy lines. Talking during sex is mostly just letting your partner know what you’re feeling, and the simplest words often work best.

This guide covers why talking helps, how to start if you’re shy, and 100 things to say during sex, from gentle encouragement to dirtier lines, dom and sub lines, and what to say afterward. Before you try anything new, have a quick chat outside the bedroom about words you each love and words that are off-limits. Agree that “stop” (or a safeword) always means stop.

Why talking during sex helps

• It tells your partner what’s working. No one is a mind reader. “Yes, right there” is the most useful thing you can say.
• It’s a turn-on. For lots of people, hearing a partner enjoy themselves is one of the hottest parts of sex.
• It builds trust. When you both speak up, it’s easier to ask for more, or less, without it feeling like a big deal.
• It makes you feel closer. Saying their name, or telling them how good they feel, is intimate in a way touch alone isn’t.

If you want to go further into explicit language, our guide to dirty talk covers that style in depth. This page is about getting started and having the words ready.

How to start if you’re shy

• Moans and “yes” count. Letting yourself breathe, sigh and make noise is the first step, and it’s already talking.
• Describe what feels good. “That feels amazing” or “I love that” is honest and easy to say.
• Say their name. It’s simple, personal and it lands every time.
• Whisper. It’s easier than speaking at full volume, and it’s sexy in its own right.
• Start with one or two words. “More.” “Slower.” “Don’t stop.” Short is fine.
• Practice by text. Many people find it easier to write things first. Our sexting examples are a good warm-up.
• Laugh it off. If something comes out awkward, a giggle together is much sexier than silence.

Encouraging things to say when it feels good

Easy, honest, and they tell your partner exactly what’s working.

1. Yes.
2. Right there.
3. That feels so good.
4. Don’t stop.
5. I love that.
6. Just like that.
7. You feel amazing.
8. Mm, more of that.
9. You’re so good at this.
10. Oh, that’s perfect.
11. Keep doing exactly that.
12. You make me feel so good.
13. I love the way you touch me.
14. I love how you taste.
15. You’re driving me crazy.
16. God, you’re sexy.
17. I love it when you do that.
18. You know exactly what I like.
19. I could do this all night.
20. Don’t you dare stop.

Asking for what you want

The most useful words in bed. Short requests are sexy, not bossy.

21. Slower.
22. Faster.
23. Harder.
24. Softer.
25. A little higher.
26. Kiss me.
27. Use your mouth.
28. Touch me here.
29. Get on top.
30. I want you on top of me.
31. Go down on me.
32. Can we use the toy?
33. Pull my hair, gently.
34. Hold me down.
35. Tease me a bit longer.
36. Don’t let me come yet.
37. I want to see your face.
38. Tell me what you want.
39. Can we try something new?
40. Please. I need you.

Telling them what you’re going to do

Building anticipation, so they know something good is coming.

41. I’m going to kiss every inch of you.
42. I’m going to take my time with you.
43. I’m going to make you come.
44. I’m going to go down on you until you can’t take it.
45. I’m going to tease you until you beg.
46. I’m going to undress you, slowly.
47. I’m going to get on top and ride you.
48. I’m going to keep you right on the edge.
49. I’m going to make you forget your own name.
50. Lie back. I’m doing all the work tonight.
51. I’m going to kiss your neck until you shiver.
52. I’m going to use the toy on you, and you’re going to let me.
53. I’m not stopping until you’re shaking.
54. I’m going to make you so loud.
55. I’m going to make this last a very long time.

Dirtier things to say

For when you’re both ready to turn up the heat.

56. I want you so badly.
57. I’ve been thinking about this all day.
58. You’re so hot when you’re turned on.
59. I love watching you.
60. I want to hear you.
61. I love the sounds you make.
62. Tell me how close you are.
63. Come for me.
64. I’m so close.
65. You feel incredible inside me. / I love being inside you.
66. Ride me.
67. I want to taste you.
68. Touch yourself for me.
69. Show me how you like it.
70. You’re so wet. / You’re so hard.
71. I want you naked, now.
72. You’re mine tonight.
73. Say my name.
74. I can’t get enough of you.
75. Again. Right now.

Dom and sub lines

For couples who enjoy a little power play. Talk about it first, and check our how to be a dom guide if you’re new to being in charge. The first ten are for the one in charge, the last five for the one who loves to obey.

76. Look at me.
77. You don’t come until I say so.
78. Hands above your head. Keep them there.
79. Tell me what you want. Ask nicely.
80. Good. Now don’t move.
81. You’re going to take what I give you.
82. Beg for it.
83. Who do you belong to tonight?
84. Count for me.
85. Good girl. / Good boy. / Good pet.
86. Please, may I come?
87. Yes, Sir. / Yes, Miss.
88. I’ll do anything you say.
89. Use me however you like.
90. Thank you.

If “good girl” makes your partner melt, our list of praise kink phrases has over 100 more. If they love the opposite, read about degradation together before trying it; it needs careful negotiation.

Things to say after sex

What you say afterward matters as much as what you say during. These double as gentle aftercare.

91. That was amazing.
92. Come here. Let me hold you.
93. How are you feeling?
94. Can I get you some water?
95. You were incredible.
96. What was your favorite part?
97. Was there anything you didn’t like?
98. I love being close to you like this.
99. I feel so lucky.
100. Let’s do that again soon.

What not to say

• Comparisons. Never mention exes, or how someone else did something.
• Criticism. No comments about their body, their technique or how long they’re taking. Ask for what you want instead (“a bit slower”) rather than saying what’s wrong.
• Words they’ve said they don’t like. If a word is off-limits, it’s off-limits, even in the heat of the moment.
• Serious conversations. Relationship talks, money and chores can wait.
• Fake enthusiasm. Don’t say something is great if it isn’t. “A little softer” helps both of you more.
• Surprise degradation. Insults, even playful ones, need agreeing in advance.

Checking in without killing the mood

A check-in can be sexy. It shows you’re paying attention, and the answer is often “yes, more”.

• Keep it short. “Still good?” “Like that?” “More?” Whispered in their ear, it’s part of the moment.
• Use traffic lights. Many couples agree: green means keep going, yellow means slow down or check in, red means stop now. Asking “Color?” takes one word.
• Watch, too. Words aren’t the only signal. Stop and check in if your partner goes quiet or still, tenses up, pulls away, stops kissing back, or seems somewhere else.
• Stop means stop. If they say stop, no or their safeword, stop straight away, without sulking or asking why, and check they’re OK.

Keep the conversation going

The more you talk, the easier it gets. Ask each other a few sexy questions when you’re not in bed, fill in our yes/no/maybe list to find words and activities you both want, and practice with sexting examples while you’re apart. For something more playful, our truth or dare questions give you an easy reason to say things out loud, and the list of kinks is there when you’re ready for new ideas.